Oven Fried Chicken


I found a recipe somewhere but the only real part if it I had all the ingredients for was "heat oven to 400 degrees." So I won't bother posting the link. 

This is how to make a delicious, moist, crunchy baked chicken with random ingredients. 

6 boneless, skinless chicken thighs
2 cups panko bread crumbs 
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese
1 T chopped fresh herbs (I used chives, marjoram, basil, oregano and cilantro)
3 cloves minces garlic
2 T oil
2 capfuls vinegar
1 egg
Pinch sea salt


First, preheat your oven to 400 F. Line a baking sheet with foil and place a greased wire cooling rack in baking pan. 

Pound chicken until uniform thickness. Be sure to stick it in a ziplock first so you don't get hit in the eye with chicken juice. And don't worry if you don't seem to own a meat mallet, just borrow a hammer from your spouse. 

I think the original recipe called for mustard. But let's suppose you left your mustard on a camping trip. Clearly you should substitute mayonnaise. But let's further suppose that your hammer-loaning spouse left the mayo out in the back yard all night and you threw it away. Clearly you must get out your trusty stick blender and make some. Break the egg into a glass jar, realize you don't have any lemon juice. Decide that vinegar is an acid too and dump some of that in the jar. Add a pinch of salt and a 1/2 cup oil. Realize you only have a couple tablespoons of oil. Proceed undeterred. The resulting stick blended creation will not be mayo but will be...something white. Add herbs and garlic, put in a bowl. 

Mix together panko crumbs and cheese. Put in another bowl. 

Dredge flattened chicken in wet bowl. Press into crumb bowl, gently shaking off excess crumbs. 

Lay chicken pieces on wire rack and bake for 30 minutes or until golden brown. 

Bask in the praise of your delighted family. 

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